First and foremost I’m what some people would call an idiot.. Others an inspiration and the rest just another fucking millennial. Hi my name is Scott and this is my story.
A Chicagoan at heart who followed the paces of life from childhood through college graduation and beyond. I did what I was supposed to, go to a good school, get a job and live happily ever after. I got lost at the ever after part. Our entire lives are structured up until we find a job and then the rest is up to you. I didn’t do so well with this part. I was always told what it is that I needed to do and I never considered myself a free thinker. I never really chose my own path, so naturally when I had total freedom I sank.
I graduated school, got a job working as an analyst at a software company and found myself living back at home with my parents to pay off the crushing amount of debt that I found myself under. A year went by and I definitely considered myself successful, paying off most of my loans and getting promoted at work. Feeling the need for independence I put in a transfer at work and moved out to Denver, Colorado. Best decision I had made to date. Don’t get me wrong the first 6 months felt like the white hot fire found in the seventh circle of hell.. ok not that bad but I fell into a deep depression that I didn’t know how to get out of. I had no friends, a god awful roommate and was working 70 hours a week out of my bedroom. It was like a jail cell with take-out boxes, a ton of weed, and a steady stream of Netflix or porn in the background. To some people it sounds pretty sweet but let me tell you the lack of human interaction really gets to you. There is a reason the worst thing we do to prisoners is put them in solitary confinement. Around Christmas time I had finally had enough of this and made some drastic life changes. I moved out of the apartment, quit my job and for the first time in my life, didn’t have a plan.
After a few days of emotional breakdowns, calling home in a panic and hearing my mothers famous phrase “take it one day at a time” I found things getting better. I moved in with a new roommate who I didn’t know at the time but would later become one of the best and most important people in my life, got a job tending bar at a neighborhood sports bar close by and getting out into the mountains to actually enjoy my days. Every day got easier from there on out.
A few months went by and I still didn’t know where my life was going but I was happy and that was what I needed. I applied for ‘real jobs’ each week and got a few offers but I kept thinking if I take it what will change. Its a career sure but after another two years will I find myself just as unhappy as I was? I searched for the root of the problems and found myself wondering what is it that I really love, what could I be happy to do everyday. Cooking? Interior design? Film? I opened my eyes to the world. Everywhere I looked people made a living. I always though the only way to be successful is to work in an office behind a computer screen and answer emails. I have found that a lot of the time those people are really unhappy. I told myself that wasn’t going to be me, I was not going to throw happiness out the window.
A drunken bender in Scottsdale, AZ is what really changed my life. I met up with some college buddies, the kind of close friends that have text messages saved in there phones that will ruin your political career should you have one. All weekend long we talked about life and they suggested I leave it all behind and travel. A few of them spent time in Singapore and they pushed that I at least look into it. 2 weeks later I bought a one way ticket.
I still don’t know what it is that I want to do with my life but at least I am living while I figure it out.